Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
