My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
