We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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