it was like his penis was on wheels.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
