yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
