i don't like sucking hair
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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