upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
two words: eviction party
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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