Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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