you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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