I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
