bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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