stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
