She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
