she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
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