I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
