right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize