I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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