Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
