so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
