I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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