the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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