Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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