I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
