i always forget guys have bellybuttons
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
