You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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