You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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