I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude. I can hear the air.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
