Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
