4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
