I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
