tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
