They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
