I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize