Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
