You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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