I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize