And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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