I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
