My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
