This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
