either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize