There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
pray to the hookup gods
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
