I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
