susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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