I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
