Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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