Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
