So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
