He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
