i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
