I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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