you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
