Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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