We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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