Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
