Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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