He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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