wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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