You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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