Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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