sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
