There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
