Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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