Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
